storm

this storm has been brewing over the last couple days.

i could feel it in me too...

this storm, just waiting to pour out of me,   

leading up to jack's 5 year anniversary.  

5 years ago december 9.  

it still takes my breath away. every time i think of him.

jack benjamin nash

ben and i were talking about our son last night.

we are different people because of him.

we feel deeper...with an intensity that i did not know before jack.

  

we remembered each event...named family and friends who stood beside us.

there were more tears with each person named.

we have been so blessed by you. that you continue to walk

 beside us in this open wound of ours.

we have been loved well.  we feel full...to the brim. 

even with this ongoing ache.  

i know full well, that is due to our Lord in our life...

{and i will put a big thank-you Jesus in here}

without His comfort and care, 

i'm not sure i would have survived without complete bitterness.

and, it is also due to you who have walked through 

the valley of the shadow of death with us.  

it is not always a beautiful, happy, 

easy place to be...beside someone who bears grief.

..plenty of patience needed for the awkward, uneasy, messy moments.

thank you, thank you for loving us well through each one- 

for allowing healing to take

place without putting an expiration date on it.

so, this morning, my tears are for jack...missing him terribly.

i am also overwhelmed with the outpouring of love that

we continue to experience. 

 it is humbling.  and, i am oh so grateful.

thank you.

my candle is lit...in remembrance of our son.

jack benjamin nash

for the heart never forgets.