five

our daughter is turning five tomorrow.
five...I was grocery shopping earlier today
and saw some teenage girls..my mind wandered
on 5-10 years from now. I started picturing
my little girl being 10, 15.
hadn't these five years gone fast enough?
but in her mind, nothing has taken longer than waiting to turn five.

i'm so nostalgic around special holidays/birthdays. i try
to remember what i was doing...where i was at at that exact date and time.
today brought me back five years and 12 days...to the first day
that we brought our beautiful baby girl home from the nicu.
she was so tiny...such an amazing package.

i've kept a journal in my kitchen of the last five years of olivia's life.
things she would say or do...announcements she would make..prayers that she shouted.
phrases that were repeated-the kind you don't necessarily care to have repeated. :)
they are all in there. one of our favorite things to do is pick up that journal and re-live these moments together. olivia gets so surprised each time we read it. and i just have to laugh because we've read it so many times.

as much as i would love to slow our time down...
i am reminded that it is sadly impossible to do.

so, this year, i want to be present
for this fancy five year old daughter of mine.
i want to drink in the non-stop moments of chatter,
the never-ending imaginative narrative that plays in her mind...
and the soulful child that i pray will always be a part of the person she is to become.
i pray that she finds Jesus in every circumstance and that she believes that He accepts and loves her right where she is at...and, that no other love would look better or entice her more than the sweet, sweet love of Jesus.

happy birthday songbird.
you are finally five!
love your mama.