Tuesday, March 5, 2013

be aware of your polarity

day five of reading the book 7

ben and olivia came home from my favorite
restaurant sunday night and brought me this fortune.

i'm pretty sure they decided this fortune was for me as
 they licked their plates clean of sushi + crab wontons.

how thoughtful.
how very and completely thoughtful you two!
i had to laugh because
that last "be aware" portion fits perfectly for how i've been handling this week.
 last night, in particular was insanity!
my sweet girl was up all night itching and scratching.
i was up all night trying to get her focus off of the itch and scratch.
it was disastrously impossible.

so, after 1 hour of beauty sleep,
i woke up to the realization of a long day
with one itching and scratching and one wound up toddler...

and my fuel for the day was black coffee and a plain egg-

i almost cried.

why does cereal and my comfort {cream + coffee}
make me feel like i can tackle mount windwood?
so, in my rebellious state, 
i did it.  i cheated.
i poured cream into the blackness of my mug.
and somehow, i felt good.
like, i had earned it.
i mean, i had been up all night with my child.

go ahead...judge me.
that is pathetic.

because when your child needs you,
that's what parents do.
they pull all-nighters.
this is what i signed up for.

and, my super-hot-supamodel friend, heather...
do you know that she stayed up for a gajillion nights
with her sweet bailey?  and, not just nights...all day too.
 cuddling her, snuggling...trying to adjust
her so that she could breath better.  making sure that her meds were
not a minute off. she and matt both.  
they did not miss one appointment...
not one of her smiles or sounds.  they were present for her.  
they gave her everything they had.


 i know i am comparing extreme situations.  
but, my point is this...
i learned how to be a better parent 
because of bailey.  
i saw her parents be parents. 
they were present.

they still are. 
 i am growing up in this parenting world...
wanting to be just like them.

their fuel - our Faithful God-
who they still call Faithful.

my fuel today...cream + coffee?

enough. already. enough.

adding cream to my day,
doesn't make it any easier to be present with my
children.  it only allows me 
to feel more entitled and deserving.

thank you black coffee.
thank you for being plain + plainer.
simplifying my perspective.

and my heart pours out to our precious friends.
thank you for sharing your sweets with us.
bailey is always near our hearts and continues
to bring perspective to our lives
and point us to the One.

For I am His,
and He is Mine.
that is where true fuel is found.

**if you want to know more about bailey...you can find her story here at seven sparrows.