stools

some of my favs

this is lengthy...

so, our family of 3 has been through a whole lot of change

in the last 3-4 months...

  

we sold our house

we packed our things

we moved our things to:

storage

parade house

2nd parade house

&

our rental

we moved into our rental

and started 3 weeks of parade of homes.

at some point, i will blog about our move...

it was a teary 4 weeks-and on any given day,

i think of one of my most fantastic neighbors...

and i start all over again *sniff-sniff.

we were beyond blessed to live where we did. 

to be with people who were real...genuine people.

the best kind of people.

{but, that is another blog entry}

the main question people are asking...

where are you moving?  have you started digging the hole yet?

good questions...they make sense.  

especially with ben being a builder.

we are waiting to see what God's best is for us.

and, it is soOo completely out of my

comfort zone to not have answers to these questions.

typically, you don't move unless 

you know where you are going.

this one is a mystery...an adventure perhaps.

we are also waiting for our child.

in september of 2009, 

ben and i started the paperwork to adopt domestically.

we went through classes and our home studies.

our portfolio is finished and has been turned in.

all of the necessities were completed in may...

now, we wait and we pray and we wait.

we tried to keep the adoption from olivia

for as long as we could.  we knew the wait

could be long.  we finally told her in may,

once we turned in our portfolio.

she thought the adoption agency was a hospital

and that we would be coming home with our baby

that day!  oh, this already has seemed long for her.

i talked with our social worker last week...

asking if there were any birth moms that 

had made adoption plans yet.

her answer was, 

"no, not yet...im sorry,

things are unusually slow."

so, for a quick girl like myself...my mind started

racing.  well, if things are unusually slow...

how could i speed things up?

maybe we should change agencies,

switch to foster care, adopt internationally, 

poke holes in condoms at meijer...

at 11 o'clock, i started blurting out my ideas 

to my patient, yet quite sensible ben

he actually was tracking with me

for quite a while.

i think we landed though.

remembering that God has the best plan for our family.

and His timing is not ours.  

we could never regulate heaven's time. 

we worry about the age gap between liv and the baby.

that was on God's radar before olivia was born.  

He will take care of that.

He is asking us to wait.

to wait on our home.

to wait on our child.

to wait on growing our family.

to wait on Him.

as we wait,

 i am confident that He continues to move for us.

  

sunshine on my shoulders...

it's the small things that make sunshine...

white plastic hangers

a good grey bag

an hour two hours in target

new flip flops

the song georgie girl

{my dad used to sing that to me when i was little}

the first sip of coffee

my little girl belly laughing

my husband holding my hand

it's the simples-and i heart them!

just a few books that i want to add to my library...

please add your recommendations!

My Prescription for Anti-Depressive Living

Apartment Therapy Presents: Real Homes, Real People, Hundreds of Design Solutions

Flea Market Style

The Nest Home Design Handbook: Simple ways to decorate, organize, and personalize your place

Domino: The Book of Decorating: A Room-by-Room Guide to Creating a Home That Makes You Happy

The Well-Dressed Home:

storm

this storm has been brewing over the last couple days.

i could feel it in me too...

this storm, just waiting to pour out of me,   

leading up to jack's 5 year anniversary.  

5 years ago december 9.  

it still takes my breath away. every time i think of him.

jack benjamin nash

ben and i were talking about our son last night.

we are different people because of him.

we feel deeper...with an intensity that i did not know before jack.

  

we remembered each event...named family and friends who stood beside us.

there were more tears with each person named.

we have been so blessed by you. that you continue to walk

 beside us in this open wound of ours.

we have been loved well.  we feel full...to the brim. 

even with this ongoing ache.  

i know full well, that is due to our Lord in our life...

{and i will put a big thank-you Jesus in here}

without His comfort and care, 

i'm not sure i would have survived without complete bitterness.

and, it is also due to you who have walked through 

the valley of the shadow of death with us.  

it is not always a beautiful, happy, 

easy place to be...beside someone who bears grief.

..plenty of patience needed for the awkward, uneasy, messy moments.

thank you, thank you for loving us well through each one- 

for allowing healing to take

place without putting an expiration date on it.

so, this morning, my tears are for jack...missing him terribly.

i am also overwhelmed with the outpouring of love that

we continue to experience. 

 it is humbling.  and, i am oh so grateful.

thank you.

my candle is lit...in remembrance of our son.

jack benjamin nash

for the heart never forgets.

 

thanksgiving feast

it was a bit early for a pow-wow for this little indian...

but, after hunting for a few "churkeys"

...she went off to school

and enjoyed a feast that mrs. decker

prepared for the class!