in honor of jack...

every year we do something to honor our son, jack.

we desire some sort of good to come from our loss.

this tradition was born out of a desire to purchase things for jack

to have at christmas. as we started to shop for him that first christmas,

we realized that the gifts would go unopened and unused...

and would create more sadness

for us as they would remain under the tree.

God was good-He understood my need

and He placed some ideas

in my mind.

the idea was to give to other children that wouldn't receive

much at christmas.

so, that is how it started-4 years ago.

both sides of our families have participated

each year and it has been something so

very special for us...

this year, we chose brenda decker's pre-school.

that is where jack would have attended this year.

the wonderful part of giving to this school is that the

items that were given will affect more than 1 or 2 children....

classrooms and classrooms to come will be able to enjoy these gifts.

and, little O, will be attending pre-school there next year.

she will also enjoy these special gifts in honor of her big brother jack!

we miss you jack...your life touches us everyday!

wouldn't it be something?

21-Day No Complaints Challenge:
how long can you go without complaining?
a few months ago, the pastor of a kansas city church told people in his congregation he wanted them to test their limits. "the one thing we can agree on," said rev. will bowen, "is there's too much complaining." and so he asked the group to give up complaining, criticizing, gossiping or using sarcasm for 21 days. people who joined in were issued purple bracelets as a reminder of their pledge. if they caught themselves complaining, they were supposed to take off the bracelet, switch it to the opposite wrist
and start counting the days from scratch.
rev. bowen said it took him three and a half months to put together 21 complaint-free days.
Now, about a half a million people around the world
have requested free wristbands to rise to the challenge.
the bracelots are $1.00 - this includes shipping.
complaintfreeworld
if you are up for the challange-i would love to hear from you!
this girl is in!
let me know if you want me to order one for you.

thank-you

thank-you all for your kind words, cards,
babysitting & phone calls over the past couple of weeks.
our lives have been short of normal
lately with jack's anniversary & my health.
thank-you for loving us well and walking beside us.
we are so grateful for such genuine relationships.
there really aren't a whole lot of words...just two very grateful hearts.

jack benjamin nash * december 9, 2004

my heart is full tonight. it is full of joy and laughter * family and friends...

and it is full of sadness and ache and missing. 

missing all of the people that should still be here with us.

 

a wise friend, who lost her husband, told me at my son's funeral...there is a fine line that runs back and forth between joy and grief. i find myself running back and forth sometimes daily. 

it comes when i least expect it. 

for me, it can come when olivia asks about jack. she is curious as to "whose hands are in that picture?" 

and, "are they mine?" she will ask, "is that baby me?"

it also comes with milestones. 

there is joy because friends are watching their children take the next step into this milestone. and often i am caught up experiencing the moment, that it doesn't hit me until later...

that we should be experiencing this same milestone with jack. 

i'm thankful, though, that it doesn't hit me until later, 

because i love my friend's children.  they are very dear to me...

and, they bring olivia such beautiful friendship.

i thought when someone was grieving-they were grieving the past. that is such a small part of grief. 

i often find that present and future grief are just as difficult.

life is so very broken...not at all how our Father designed it to be.

when we lost jack, i really believed that i would never be able to experience joy again.

to be honest, i didn't even want to.  

i thought it would mean that somehow i had forgotten or replaced him.

but, we serve an amazing God-who will someday make all of it right...

and in the in-between times-He has given me so many people to share life with,

and experience the joy He longs for us to have.

this joy comes in the smallest packages at times...

it's watching olivia's dramatic dance as she closes her eyes and winds herself around the room,{and i belly laugh because that is all one can do with this type of performance} or, seeing ben teach olivia how to "grease" up her bike and check her tires.  it's playing scrabble with friends and texting google for the correct spelling, it's taking a road trip with my mom and jodi, it's holding my newest neice, it's going to chicago to spend time with ana, it's in celebrating my girlfriends-a wedding, a baby, a new paint color!

it is all around me.

 thank-you jesus that someday i will only know this kind of joy and so much more.

i will see you face to face.

and i will hold my son again.

i cannot wait.

here are some of the top trends that are out and about right now!

some of my favs in this selection are from anthropologie.

{i heart anthropologie}

just a few of my favorite items from shopstyle...if you click on the images-pricing will post!