random thoughts from my songbird

i have so many random thoughts-most of them

stem from my conversations with my songbird, olivia.

she may be small...but she has mighty inside of her.

the thoughts and questions she thinks of...

here are this week's conversations in a nutshell.

about her brother jack...mommy, i miss jack.

hmmm. what made you think about jack?

mommy, i think about him all the time.

wow.  this one stopped me in my tracks.

if you don't know our story, we lost jack when he was full term.

there was a tear in his umbilical chord.

olivia misses having a big brother...

**we will always miss him too olivia.

she is very excited about her new baby brother..

which brings up a whole new realm of ponderings.

thoughts about will...mommy, it's too bad will didn't come out of your belly.

really liv?  why is that?  

well, it means he isn't a part of our family.  

he is a part of deborah's family.  but not really ours. 

{deborah is our amazing birth mom}

 what makes you think he isn't a part of ours?  

well, in our family, everyone has blue eyes.  will has brown eyes.

{this topic came up a few weeks ago, and i thought it was resolved...but, apparently it wasn't.} (:

okay, so what makes a family?  

a family is when everyone has the same of something.

so, i brought up one of her friends and said, i am so glad to know that.  

i guess your friend is really my other daughter because she has blue eyes like us!!  

no mommy, wait...she has a mommy.  she isn't your daughter.

well, i thought that you said...

and our conversation kept going.

where we ended was a very different place then where we started.

i'm grateful that she is open with me about her big thoughts, her doubts, her concerns.

i'm equally grateful that God reminds me to slow down and listen to her...really listen.  and to ask her questions-questions that help me understand where she is coming from and where she may be going...

we landed in the place that our family may look different than other families...but, it doesn't change the fact that we are family.  that will is our son and he is olivia's brother.  

that that little boy has forever changed our lives for the better.

and, that we collectively couldn't imagine our lives without our little man.

he has definitely won our hearts OVER. 

lastly, thoughts about a friend that lied to her.

mommy, i just wish she would have told me

that she was a friend that would lie to me right 

when we decided to become friends.

then i would be ready to feel this way.

oh, olivia...what a great thought.

i wish we all came with tags saying how broken we are...

mine would say,

i may not be able to call you back when you would like me to

or

i'm someone who thinks about your acts of kindness all the time, but i just get hung up on how to put my gratitude into words on paper for a thank you note...

or

how about this, i will, more than likely forget about a coffee date,

disappoint by not following through on something...i'm just another broken friend.

but, i'm a good friend.  one that is loyal and loves to see you succeed as a woman in this great big hodgepodge world of ours. (:  

releasing others from our high expectations is such a gift of grace.

i long to be a woman of grace...to offer it freely.

my prayer is for my little ones to see this in my life and 

to experience the power of grace so that they may offer to others as well.


i guess to sum up my thoughts on her thoughts...her thoughts slow me down.
they create a pause button-they make me take the time to really think through my everyday and 
understand what my purpose truly is.

it is to love God and to love people.
double-love command

homemade happy meal

tonight i wasn't going to do it...

to go through one more drive thru!

now, i'm not boycotting forever-i'm just tired of forking

over $4.25 or whatever the price is-to pay for

fried up- pieced together chicken,

apples that taste like they have been dipped in chlorine,

carmel dip that has been drizzeled across the door handle and back...

and a toy that gets lost or broken in less than 3 hours flat.

as we were driving home from fort wayne tonight, it occurred to me...

we should just make our own happy meals.  

olivia could decorate the bag while

 we unpack the truck!

she was so excited!  

i know i'm not re-inventing any wheels here.

i'm sure this has been done by many of you-but, it was our first time.

and wow...did we enjoy every minute of it! (:

the best part was finding a toy that olivia hasn't played with in so long-

she didn't even remember having it.  

i love recyling toys.

The Sexy 7-10

a little background perhaps, may be necessary with this hot title!

it all started *ahem 10 years ago- 

or somewhere around there, 

that i met up with these crazy girls that became roommates, 

apartment groupies, and connoisseurs of all good and outstanding men...

{which, by the way, we are all equally blessed to have found and married one.} 

*a shout out to one in particular-ben nash- ;)

 now, for the real reason for this post.

 it's to introduce 

this precious group of  rumble. 

 17 children (4 were out of town) the last time we got together. 

21 kiddos total. 

 it really isn't that insane-it's completely manageable.

and so much fun!

 the number that really blows me away 

is

 6.

6 of the rumble are adopted.

 4 of the 6 were adopted within the last 3 months into 3 separate homes!

it is mindblowing to think it all began as college besties, 

figuring out so much about life.

and, during that time...God knew the plans He had for each of us.

while we were just trying to make life work for us...He was seeing the bigger picture,  

of what real life was going to look like when college life was over.  

our priorities, at that time, were all over the board.

like, making sure we had a lower level dorm room. 

who knew that it would have such great advantages! 

i mean, really..it had a fantastic view of the campus bell.

that was rung every time a couple got engaged. 

priceless *and somewhat humurous at times*
to see so many happy people 

climbing that pole striving to ring that bell in blissful glee 

of pronouncing their undying love to one another. 

it also gave us great 24 hour access-

which, we were very cautious to use this access 

only in emergent situations.  

*ahem, anyhow...

we were planners.

we stratagized every aspect of life possible:

we made sure we wore the trendiest styles, 

got jobs at the same restaurant so we could

carpool to work together,

 ensured a few of us were chapel checkers-

so that none of us missed chapel. (:  

experimented with hair dying kits,

megan's nickname still remains sunshine to this day.

we witnessed each other's nail biting break-ups
and celebrated some of them too! ha!

we had the full college experience. 

and now, we share this life. 

our grown-up, beautiful, colorful lives.

i love that when i get together with the sexy 7-10 and their children, 

that Will, will have other playmates -that are a constant in his life. 

that share more than a similar skin color-

they will share the beautiful story of adoption.

and one of the most beautiful pieces of our story 

is that we have this rich history of friendship
 that started way back when.  

 and, our story, in my book, is just beginning to unfold. 

 God started something amazing
when He brought these girls into my life.  

overscheduled?

are your kids overscheduled?

i'm finding myself working toward this thinking-
 of spending regular amounts of time as a family.

if you ask anyone whose children are in their twenties, 
or older, they will advise the same.


"spend as much time as you can with them...before you know it, they
will have gone and grown up on you."

i don't know about you,
 but i used to smile and nod my head at advice like this...

now, i'm starting to see the wisdom in it..and heed it for our family.

we are allowing our children one activity, per season, to participate in.

i love that they learn discipline, committment, teamwork and participation.

those are all such good things.  
and, the great news is, 
they can learn all of these qualities by participating in one single activity!!

i worry the only downtime our kids have  

is when we go on vacation. 

it seems with so many activities, we are raising mini-adults.

why are we over-committing our mini-me's?

life is to be care-free for them-full of playtime, 

free time and maybe some chores around the house...

oh yeah, and they do have school too, don't they?  (:

in all liklihood, our children's children will have triple 

the opportunities that our children have. 

triple the activities as well.  

and, i don't know about you...

but, i would like to spend time with my grandchildren. 

we are stepping away from filling up our calendar 

with so many playdates and activities.

we are heading in the direction of spending more time with grandparents,
 aunties & uncles and their much-loved cousins. 
 and of course continuing our friendships with our precious friends...
just working at putting family first.

now, if you are my age, or younger, raising children...

you may or may not agree with me.

i'm okay with that.  

you have to do what is right for your family.  


i guess i have overscheduled myself for years, 
and the stress that comes from that can have huge effects.  
i long to break the habit of busyness for my children.

i am in a place of listening to those who have been there, done that....

the ones with experience..

the ones that regret the times that have come and gone

 and that they can't get back those precious years.  

and when they use that phrase-verbatem-i see the regret in their eyes...

and i can feel their warning...without trying to intrude. 

but with so much at stake...i invite one of my dear friends into this area of my life.  

because she has adult children now-

so, i consider her an expert! 

 i give her full permission that if she sees something

 that might be a little off-balance,

or a lot off-balance-

that she can say something.

she did make regular time for her family...and the fantastic part about that, is that her adult children, by their own choice, still make it a point to spend their time with family.

let's give our precious children their childhood, 

and let's fill it with good old fashioned time with family!

olivia's excerpt from the tooth fairy's travel log...

The Tooth Fairy Travel Log
Welcome to my travel log.
It would be really nice if you could sign it.
That way everyone can see where in the world I have traveled to collect teeth.
(I already have 150 entries in my log.)
Thanks!


Love from the Tooth Fairy

Your Name: olivia
Your City: grand rapids
Your Country: usa
Teeth Lost: 1

Message

dear tooth fairy,
can i please have my tooth back in 2 days?
because it is my first tooth that i lost.
and i almost swallowed it when it fell out!
goodnight,
olivia
Date Monday, June 27th 2011 - 05:22:12 AM

the tooth fairy travel log

will-i-am

i'm not sure where i even begin in talking about our newest bundle...
i'm equally unsure and greatly overwhelmed {in the best sense} of the outpouring
of love, talents, sacrificial time, gifts, essentials, dinners, phone calls, messages,
visitors, prayers-you- i guess what my deepest expression of gratefulness is to thank you for being you! for giving in the amazing way that you do. each of you gave so uniquely with such unabandoned love. we continue to feel your support and are humbled and exited to have you join with us in welcoming will into our family.

speaking of will-i-am...oh my goodness..was he made of complete sugar- or what??

okay- i'm pretty sure i'm allowed to brag about him because
he is the most amazing gift from God and from our incredible birth mom.
he was chosen for us...for this place and time and we get to use words like,
both and kids and ours when referring to our family.

and then there is my husband, this 6 ft. amazing man who swaddles up our little 6 pounder and holds him for hours-speaking more words like,
let's watch the game tonight...
wait until i show you how to throw a football,
and then its about basketball, soccer-
and, his favorite word to whisper to will-SCHOLARSHIP. :)
he's dreamy isn't he and i am so in love with this man.

and then, there is big sister...
who uses these phrases,
mommy, WE'RE finally parents!
and, has your baby met my baby?
and, how do i answer people when they ask me how i feel about my new baby brother?

my response- i know- i wonder too olivia...how do we explain how deep and wide our love is for will? it is hard to put words to it. but, i'm sure they already know that you love him so. "yep, i even think i'll pick him over daddy to marry someday!"

wow...that probably says it the best liv. :)

my words for my sweet will are mainly songs...
my fav these days-He's got you and me will in His hands..he's got you and me will in His hands..{and i can't get to the 3rd line of that song because i'm too teary} He's got the whole world in His hands.
and He does-doesn't He?
i'm amazed at those words and i get choked up-because the God of the Universe takes the time to hold will and i in his hands.
what an incredible, intimate, huge God we belong to.

One who calls us His own.